It has been a long day.....

Thoughts of writing again since writing is the thing that can fill my heart from loneliness.
hehehehehehe

 So,what am I doing?

I'm having a normal life. Go to school, study, back from school ,having night prep and so on.

I like this kind of life actually. No problems at all.
But the problem Im having acutally my exam result for 1st mid term.
The worst result~

HUHUHUUHUHU

I dont know what to do. I want to work hard but I dont know how huhuhuhuhuhu
This is the time when I feel like I chose the wrong road. I should be in sastera because it fits me so well but now I'm facing pure science plus addmath. The hardest subject for me.

I feel like want to cry and let me lost in my own tears but can I?

I'm holding mom and dad's hope.

huhuhuhuhu

Pray for me! I hope I can survive in my sea of tears.

It's better be!

 I have always been asking myself. Why like this and why like that? Why the thing I wanted to happen does not happen like I planned? Why? Wae?
 Why I have to do this when I feel bad about it? Why?
 Why I have to make it when I think it's not good for me? Why?
 WHY I HAVE TO GO THROUGH ALL OF THIS? WHY?

Those questions keep playing in my mind and I can't stop it unless I sleep. But,sometimes it gotten into my dreams too.

 Oh Allah? Why I have to do this when I'm not ready,when I can't take it? Oh Allah...please...

 But,I realized that sometimes,the thing I hate turns to a very good thing for me...Don't you?
 When your mom and dad forced you to solat? When they forced you to puasa? When they forced you to go to school? When the teachers mad at you because you didn't do your homework?

 Stop for a while and think about it. Why they did that? Why Allah make it the way like that?
 Why Allah put you in a family that have so many peraturan itu dan ini?

 I can't deny, I really don't want to go back to asrama . REALLY DON'T WANT. Cause it hurts me so much. I will be very missing my family and I can't stop thinking about them at night. I cried. Many times.

 But,I tell myself. "Do you know how much mom and dad paid for your yuran asrama? Do you know how much mom sacrifice their time to visit you and take and send you back? How much they used their money for you to buy your things and goods? Don't you know how much energy they have to use? Don't you know?"

 They put so many hopes on me. That's why they are willing to do anything or everything as long as I can succeed in my life.

 Then,I knew. I know they love me more than anything. They love me....

 That's why. Allah knows what is He doing. You know nothing. Not even a single thing. Believe in Him. Have Faith. In Sha Allah,He will helps you through this painful and tiring journey.

Wae Kai?

Kenapa bagi nama Kai?
hahaha. Setelah menonton XOXO EXO,aku dapat tahu makna Kai dalam chinese is open  atau kata mudahnya permulaan lah. Alamak aih mendalam gak maksudnya.
Eventho,it's koreanartist nama I cedok,suka hati I lah sebab I punya blog. haha.

This is the REAL KAI ACTUALLY HAHAHA

KIM JONGIN FROM EXO

 But what I want to say is ..

our road to Jannah

Secara telusnya, di sini saya sebagai Hamba Nya nak memaksudkan Kai itu sebagai suatu permulaan kepada kita semua nak mengejar redha Ilahi. Yelah,kita bukan perfect. Asyik buat silap je. Asyik kene mula semula,kene bukak BUKU BARU. That's what I meant.

Aku,saya,ana,I, (hah bahasa apa lagi nak guna) selalu sangat buat silap,tak pernah tak buat dosa. Agaknya kalau malaikat kat bahu ni boleh mengadu mesti dia dah mengadu "Ya Allah,penatlah menulis dosa budak ni. Tak henti-henti." Ye dak?

 Sebab itu kita semua kene KAI. Open or begin a new journey for ourselves to be a better person. Be a better son/daughter for our parents. Be a good student/worker for our teachers/boss . And be a great khalifah in this dunya and hereafter.

 Jangan bash diriku kerana meletakkan nama korea di sini dengan tujuan dakwah. Aku personally memang minat korea.(biasala)but hey! Every single thing in this world has its own positive and negative sidelah. I tell you later!

JazakAllah Khair!